Without a doubt the most AWESOME Rock artist I've ever met was PETE SHELLEY – best known as frontman and guiding light of the British Punk band The Buzzcocks.
We met in Southern California, backstage after the band performed at The Ventura Theatre. They had reformed that year ('89) with their ORIGINAL band line-up, and were in the middle of their North American tour at the time we met.
I BADLY wanted to meet Pete, and it was clear that NO ONE that night was gonna get past the stage door guard. Not knowing what else to do, I sat next to a small but determined group of girls who had firmly planted themselves directly NEXT to the backstage loading dock ... waiting for the first chance to sneak backstage!
As we sat and talked, I began chatting up the roadies as they passed by us, lugging stage equipment into the trucks. One in particular was very nice...had a good sense of humor. I got to teasing him about how smart and witty he was, adding "...and I'll bet you are easily smart enough to figure out just HOW to get us girls BACKSTAGE tonight!" To my surprise, he very matter of factly said YES!
None of the girls seemed to pay any attention to all this, and I honestly didn't think much would come of it, either. I was WRONG! Some time passed, and the hustle on the loading dock slowed down. It was at this point that the roadie came over and quietly ushered us backstage-up that LONG and winding staircase straight to the very top-the ONLY room I'd NEVER seen before (up to that time)! THAT's when the FUN began!
We were led by the roadie into the uppermost room of the backstage area, where the first thing we saw was the ENTIRE BAND, literally SQUEEZED into the only full-sized piece of furniture in the entire room: a well-worn sofa! The band (with Pete in lead) were in the middle of an interview with a journalist from the San Francisco area. The girls did a literal FREEZE-right there in the middle of the room! I looked for and grabbed one of the few chairs to be found, sitting down and taking it all in! It was quite a SIGHT!
As the girls stood and STARED (their mouths literally gaping open) the band sat talking with what had to be the LAMEST excuse for a music journalist I've EVER heard! He appeared to know next to NOTHING about the band's music, INCLUDING Shelley's outstanding solo albums! As his questions became increasingly inane, you could almost see Pete's eyes kind of glazing over, as his mind visibly searched for a reason to want to CONTINUE talking with this moron!
Without meaning to, I began "butting in" so to speak! It began with my declaration: "I hope I don't embarrass Pete by saying this, (a comment SURE to embarrass) but he has always reminded me of a GOOD-LOOKING version of Peter Gabriel!" to which the journalist immediately asked Pete how Gabriel's music had any connection to that of the Buzzcocks. With a shy grin, Pete answered, as his eyes shot a glance over at me, as if he was noticing for the first time that the band had "company", LOL!
With the girls CONTINUING to stand and stare, I began directing the journalist to ask questions about the band's music WITHOUT always comparing it to the work of their peers, taking special point with Shelley's solo work. I have to LAUGH now as I think back, because I actually had the nerve to ask the journalist point-blank if he'd ever heard ANY of Pete's solo albums, to which he sheepishly admitted he had NOT! Well, that was all it took! I had recently purchased "Heaven & The Sea", and since THAT was my current disc on HEAVY rotation at home, I went ON AND ON about the WONDERS of it, summing up my comments with: "And you NEED to go out RIGHT AWAY and buy that album! Take it home, listen to it, and THEN you'll be in a BETTER position to understand Pete's music!"
ALL the while I'm carrying on like this, Pete's grin is getting WIDER & WIDER, as he clearly become THE focus of the interview! SUDDENLY the whole scope of the interview changes from mundane to wildly IMAGINATIVE, as Pete begins discussing a whole range of subjects: everything from computer-enhanced music (in which he is fucking BRILLIANT) to British playwrights to astronomy to....well, you get the idea!
Not to be outdone, Steve Diggle made a rather frantic attempt to wax poetic on HIS solo projects and musings. HOWEVER, poor Steve, being nowhere near the "Renaissance Man" that Pete is, came off looking more frantic than fascinating! As I watched him make a last ditch attempt to recover some of the thunder that was stolen out from underneath him (Shirley looking about nervously, as if to say "DON'T look at ME...I had NOTHING to do with all this!") I knew poor Steve's efforts were all in vain, as the journalist politely listened then, without so much as a single question/comment, turned his questions right back to PETE!
Poor Steve-this was the final straw! With the journalist's next question, Steve pointedly announced "Why don't you ask HER?! (shooting me a quick glare...um...glance) SHE'S doing GREAT in this interview!" With that, he was up off the sofa, to join his bandmates who had LONG bailed out of the interview (as it had gotten too esoteric for their taste) busily "entertaining" the girls!
For PETE however, it was clear that the real fun was getting the chance to open up and have a REAL conversation – and he did just that! The ideas and observations from his AMAZING mind were flying SO fast and furious-god, what I would have given for a recorder in my hands at that time! As I and the journalist sat in AWE, listening to Pete go on and on, a line from a Rod McKuen poem came to my mind:
"Everything you say is funny or beautiful".
Needless to say, I literally jumped at the chance to speak with Pete when the interview finally wrapped up! The first thing he did was thank me for "Helping out" with the interview (thank God Steve was in ANOTHER part of the room-out of earshot)! I began asking Pete all about "Heaven & The Sea", noting what I thought were it's various musical influences (jazz, etc.). Pete made me giggle: as I named each influence I heard, he waved his hand in a come-ahead gesture, saying "Yes? Yes?" waiting for me to mention a certain SOMETHING that must have been there, and sadly I was NOT able to name. I asked him "So WHEN are you coming BACK?" to which he retorted "We haven't even LEFT yet!" He talked about his music, struggling to hear each other over the soft roar of the music the boys were playing for their "guests". Hey, I didn't mind - it gave me a great excuse to stand REAL close to Pete, putting my lips RIGHT UP to his sweet little ears to be heard (no need to tell you at that moment where I REALLY wanted to put my lips...OOOOOOO)!
We talked at SOME length, discussing a whole range of subjects! For anyone who wants to get an idea of just what it's like to talk with Pete Shelley, check out a wonderful song on his album "Homosapien" called "Qu'est-ce que c'est que ca", in which he ruminates on the mysteries of everything from Man's eternal soul to whether we really ARE alone in the universe! I just loved the chance to discuss in detail his songs – learning all about how his mind works: WOW!
What delighted me the most though was his disarming sweetness and honesty-quite unlike anyone else I've met before or since! How many Rockers do you know who would share THIS kind of info with you: their harrowing stay in a bombed-out Belfast Hotel; their cock being fitted for a plaster cast by the infamous "Cynthia Plaster-Caster"; the color of their UNDERWEAR?!
That he was able to describe ALL this and MORE without sounding at any time belicose, trite or sleazy was what really left a lasting impression on me-he is TOO cool!
The story of Pete and his mates staying at the bombed out Belfast hotel was especially fascinating! In a nutshell, it goes like this: at the height of ill feelings between England and Ireland, (shortly following a notorious IRA bombing in London) The Buzzcocks received an invite to tour Ireland. The promoter, an Irish gentleman, was eager to encourage ENGLISH bands to once again include Ireland on their tour itineraries-as too many were altogether steering clear of The Emerald Isle amid the hoopla.
With Pete's urging, the band agreed. Shortly thereafter, the hotel, where the band was scheduled to stay, suffered a mysterious BOMBING! Subsequent calls and investigations STRONGLY hinted it was meant as a message for British bands to stay OUT of Ireland-amazingly pointing the finger at radical elements within the BRITISH police as the culprits!
The promoter contacted the band's manager, notifying them that he was unable to secure another hotel and that he would understand their cancellation. He had a BIG shock: the band were NOT gonna pull outta this tour! Pete said "So I asked just HOW badly the hotel had been damaged in the bombing. They said it was completely UNFIT to stay in: fully HALF of it was COMPLETELY blown away, and the OTHER half had sustained considerable damage too. So I told me mates "Hey, we've already committed ourselves to this tour, WHY pull out NOW? We don't need the WHOLE hotel-HALF of it is STILL standing, let's DO IT! Let's play the shows, show 'em WE BELIEVE in what we're doing – that it's the RIGHT thing to do!" They somehow managed, despite it being deemed UNSAFE by city ordinance, who apparently turned a blind eye for the time being-appreciating the band's tenacity no doubt!
As for Pete's foray into...um..."fine art", well THAT was a GOOD story too! Cynthia moved to London in the '70's, so the story goes, pursuing what she had begun in America in the '60's: creating a series of infamous plaster casts of Rock star's COCKS! Among those she sought and got was PETE'S - well ... almost.
According to Pete, she made a "miscalculation" on the solution (which he said was the same as dentists use to make impressions). As a result, the material hardened too soon to make a proper impression, requiring Cyn to have ANOTHER go at it! I had to laugh when Pete, sheepishly grinning, said he's suspected all these years that her "error" was NOT quite an accident, since she REALLY seemed to be ENJOYING her job! Pete: "I personally think she did it ON PURPOSE, so she could have ANOTHER go at me!" The second attempt was not a complete success either (PLEASE don't ask me WHY, tee hee)! At any rate, it WAS numbered and cataloged among her coveted collection. Pete: "I STILL get the odd Christmas card from her now and then!" *Note* Pete told me the catalog number, but damned if I can remember it all these years later! :-(
So, by this time, I have an ear to ear GRIN from Pete's story regarding his "modeling assignment"-MORE so because of Pete's utterly sweet demeanor as he tells his tale! I said: "So you think she got MORE than she bargained for?!" to which he casually replied: "Well, she REALLY seemed to be enjoying her job." Jokingly, I asked him "So what color is your underwear? Maybe THAT was what did it?" to which he replied "Black-I ALWAYS wear black." HMMM..........
By this time, the rest of the band was exiting into the COLD night air-into their tour bus and onward to the next gig. The girls were saying their WET goodbyes to the rest of the band, as Pete and I stood next to each other, silent. One of the girls-sensing my frustration at the circumstances-said: "Oh go ahead... KISS HIM!" Without thinking, I shot back: "I'd LOVE to kiss him, but my lips are BLUE!" (it was THAT cold)
At this, Pete gently took me by the shoulders, turned me to him and planted a KILLER kiss-the likes of which I'd NEVER had before (or since, for that matter)! He turned me loose, spun 'round and began his walk down the sidewalk, toward the tour bus.
Now THIS was something I'd NOT counted on: getting a REAL kiss by the Shelley! I literally went into SHOCK for a moment there: stood in place motionless (and time itself did a freeze too)! When I came to, of all the things I COULD have said, the words that came out were:
"OH MY GOD!!!
I've been kissed by PETE SHELLEY!!!
My shock was so GENUINE, that even the girls didn't utter so much as a giggle at my outburst! They stood and STARED, unsure of what to say/do next! PETE, however, seemed to have NO trouble deciding what HE should do next: he did a QUICK about face, and started walking BACK toward me!
Now here is where I did what I will always regard as THE DUMBEST act of my ENTIRE life: with sweat pouring from my palms and forehead, I let out a SHRIEK of epic proportions, as I RAN across the street toward (the safety?)of my car! The last image I remember was Pete's bemused _expression, as he turned and proceeded his search for the tour bus(which NEITHER of us now saw ... hope they didn't leave Pete behind that night)!
DAMN! All these years later, and I STILL ask myself: "WHY did you do THAT?!" I guess Pete was just TOO MUCH for me ... more "GRRRRR" than my senses could handle that night (or ANY night, for that matter)!
Pete and I wrote to each other for several months after that. I STILL have his postcard he sent mid-tour, announcing that the band's drummer had just quit (after a quick break the band took in British Honduras).
Nowadays, I've read that Pete is enjoying married life, with a son who must be about 13 now. God, what I would give to see what his SON looks like ... see if he looks like his dear old dad (time will tell if he ACTS like dad too ... one can only hope he DOES)!
Shirley
